Bye Bye Deyi Hello TP

Well, poly has officially started. New faces, new environment, new food, new clothes, new MACBOOK PRO!!!!

But same old politics and social rules thingy.

I remember it was much easier making friends in Deyi. Now I just clam up and don't seem to fit in (or at lest I think I don't fit in).

Maybe I'll fit in soon, maybe I take longer to get comfortable with my new surroundings.

But what if I take too long and everybody has already formed cliques and groups? Will they let me in? Will I be the sad social outcast that I have always dreaded being? Will people like me?

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Anyway, in the w=first week there are only lectures and no tutorials so everything is going smoothly and easily so far. The work will probably pile on in the coming weeks when tutorials start. I wonder if i'll struggle with the work. Coursework and graded assignments were never my strong point. I only did well in tests and exams. That's why I dropped F&N in the first place.

The CCA recruitment drive has begun, I can't believe I gave my names to Dance, Track and Field and Karate.

I seriously need a brain scan.

WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?

I have no dance experience. My chances of being accepted are thinner then a model in Milan.

Track and Field? My only sporting achievement is getting an A in shuttle run once in sec 4(which to this day I call a miracle) and never getting anything less than a B in Sit and reach. BESIDES THAT I AM EXTREMELY UNFIT. I cannot do a single Pull up. And I always do badly for my 2.4km run.

I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY I SIGNED UP FOR KARATE!!!!

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I HAVE GOTTEN MY MACBOOK PRO AND IT IS DAMN AWESOME!!!!!!! IT IS MY LAO PUO NOW!!!!!!

i'm an ugly waste of space

i hate the acne scars on my face.
I hate how i don't have a defined jawline.
I hate my flat nose
I hate my ugly teeth
I hate how they're messy
I hate how the two front teeth are crooked
I hate how i have a messed up canine tooth
I hate how skinny i am and can't seem to gain weight
I hate the cavity in my chest which makes me look thinner
I hate looking in the mirror cos i am just a pole with a big head
I hate how my adams apple is so overly huge
I hate my face
I hate how my rib cage looks deformed
I hate my arms
I hate my legs
I hate how i look
I am an ugly waste of space and no one will ever find me attractive.
I am an ugly waste of space and no one will ever find me attracrive.
I am an ugly waste of space and no one will ever find me attractive.
I am an ugly waste of space and no one will ever find me attractive.
I am an ugly waste of space and no one will ever find me attractive.
I am ugly. I'm a loser. I'm a useless waste of space.
In better news, poly is finally starting. Finally an excuse to send myself into this downward spiral of self-conciousness.