"I miss you more than I can bear, but we had our time together. I have to let you go. " Dom Cobb, Inception
I miss my sister so much.
I have to let her go but I can't.
Friday, December 09, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
He didn't know if it was the pent up frustration of being abandoned, or the anger towards his father, or the irritation of how life sucked, or the fact that he finally got the father-son bonding he always wanted, or the fact that he finally got his father's approval, or that his father finally did something fatherly.
But all he could do was mumble replies as tears streaked down his face.
He couldn't understand his father, the thick accent, the broken english, the drunk gestures, but he tried to decipher what his father was trying to relay.
His father was drunk, he doesn't even know what he is saying. People say that a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, but how true is all of this?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I did not want to move after my sister passed away.
I did not want to move to my uncle's house in Ang Mo Kio, I wanted to move to another uncle's house in Bedok.
When my mom went to apply for a HDB flat, I did not want the Marsiling one, I wanted the Tampines one.
Now my dad is in Bangkok, and doesn't want to listen to his boss's orders to wait in Bangkok and not to go anywhere. My dad wants to fly over to Singapore, which my uncle is unhappy about because no one on my maternal side trusts my dad.
So now my mom and I have to switch rooms with my uncle, my mom is tired of what she sees as my uncle's "strange antics".
And I'm supposed to be the mature child and support my mom. Even she acknowledges that my dad may lose his job if he flies over. Meaning that he will have no income, no income = not able to pay child support, no child support payment = my mom would have to support him and me & she would have to work more.
She told me to save up my money.
A mature child would understand the current predicament and support his parents in any way possible and not raise objections.
I have not raised any strong objections to anything that my mom has done so far, but I can't take it anymore. I want to unleash the ungrateful brat in me and let my parents know what a stupid plan this is. The new flat in the god-forsaken place called Marsiling will not be ready until 2016/2017. That is 5 to 6 years more to go in this house, and you want to piss off the man who so kindly let you move in when you needed a place?! What if he kicks us out? What if no other relative take us in? We would have to rent an apartment, do we have money to pay rent if your EX-husband gets fired from his job? Not to mention he used to hit you and abandoned you and your children.
WHY DO THIS BECAUSE OF ONE FLOOD? I know the flood is dangerous, and it is terrible, but he's in a safe location, with food and water, and there is assistance from all over the world. Why sacrifice our livelihood for this!!!??? Everything is going just fine as it is!
I did not want to move to my uncle's house in Ang Mo Kio, I wanted to move to another uncle's house in Bedok.
When my mom went to apply for a HDB flat, I did not want the Marsiling one, I wanted the Tampines one.
Now my dad is in Bangkok, and doesn't want to listen to his boss's orders to wait in Bangkok and not to go anywhere. My dad wants to fly over to Singapore, which my uncle is unhappy about because no one on my maternal side trusts my dad.
So now my mom and I have to switch rooms with my uncle, my mom is tired of what she sees as my uncle's "strange antics".
And I'm supposed to be the mature child and support my mom. Even she acknowledges that my dad may lose his job if he flies over. Meaning that he will have no income, no income = not able to pay child support, no child support payment = my mom would have to support him and me & she would have to work more.
She told me to save up my money.
A mature child would understand the current predicament and support his parents in any way possible and not raise objections.
I have not raised any strong objections to anything that my mom has done so far, but I can't take it anymore. I want to unleash the ungrateful brat in me and let my parents know what a stupid plan this is. The new flat in the god-forsaken place called Marsiling will not be ready until 2016/2017. That is 5 to 6 years more to go in this house, and you want to piss off the man who so kindly let you move in when you needed a place?! What if he kicks us out? What if no other relative take us in? We would have to rent an apartment, do we have money to pay rent if your EX-husband gets fired from his job? Not to mention he used to hit you and abandoned you and your children.
WHY DO THIS BECAUSE OF ONE FLOOD? I know the flood is dangerous, and it is terrible, but he's in a safe location, with food and water, and there is assistance from all over the world. Why sacrifice our livelihood for this!!!??? Everything is going just fine as it is!
Monday, October 10, 2011
If you don't like what you see in the mirror, either change it or change your opinion of it. I will choose the former. I guess it's easy to look at something I like for the rest of my life rather than having to lie to myself that I like what I see in the mirror although I feel ugly.
An East Asian blepharoplasty, a rhinoplasty and a chin augmentation should settle it.
Right?
An East Asian blepharoplasty, a rhinoplasty and a chin augmentation should settle it.
Right?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Raindrops
Seeing his parents divorce made him question marriage, seeing his extended family fall apart just made him question love. Seeing his sister die because of it made him lose faith in both.
As Jim wandered through the internet. Opening page after page as the raindrops fell down the window in front of him. He liked to watch the raindrops race each other. It got more interesting than his computer and the George Carlin video he was watching. The rain made the night gloomy. The rain seemed to bring out all of Jim's pent-up emotions. He always pushed aside all his depressing thoughts. Jim felt so lonely at that moment. He was 17 but had never dated anyone, which seems like nothing to some people. But to an insecure teenager, it was a hell of a big deal.
Sure he has had crushes on girls and girls has crushes on him, but it just did not feel right, so he never made any moves. He lets his feelings fade away. He was fussy about who he wanted to date. Being lonely was the price to pay.
As he looked out of his window and felt sorry for himself, he saw a tall man in a black shirt standing with his umbrella under the pouring rain. An umbrella was useless in heavy rains like this. The man must be completely drenched. And although the man was far away, he could see that the man was constantly looking at his watch and looking around, as if waiting for someone. Like a lovesick fool waiting in the rain for his true love to return.
"Love makes people do such stupid things," he thought to himself.
Just then, the man collapsed in the rain. Smack against the pavement in the pouring rain.
Jim thought to himself, "I have to go help him, idiot or not, it's the right thing to help him."
He grabbed his raincoat, swung it on and dashed through the door, ignoring his surprised parents as they asked him where he was going.
Jim had no idea, what he was doing or why he was doing it or who he was doing it for. He just felt a strange attraction from the man.
As Jim wandered through the internet. Opening page after page as the raindrops fell down the window in front of him. He liked to watch the raindrops race each other. It got more interesting than his computer and the George Carlin video he was watching. The rain made the night gloomy. The rain seemed to bring out all of Jim's pent-up emotions. He always pushed aside all his depressing thoughts. Jim felt so lonely at that moment. He was 17 but had never dated anyone, which seems like nothing to some people. But to an insecure teenager, it was a hell of a big deal.
Sure he has had crushes on girls and girls has crushes on him, but it just did not feel right, so he never made any moves. He lets his feelings fade away. He was fussy about who he wanted to date. Being lonely was the price to pay.
As he looked out of his window and felt sorry for himself, he saw a tall man in a black shirt standing with his umbrella under the pouring rain. An umbrella was useless in heavy rains like this. The man must be completely drenched. And although the man was far away, he could see that the man was constantly looking at his watch and looking around, as if waiting for someone. Like a lovesick fool waiting in the rain for his true love to return.
"Love makes people do such stupid things," he thought to himself.
Just then, the man collapsed in the rain. Smack against the pavement in the pouring rain.
Jim thought to himself, "I have to go help him, idiot or not, it's the right thing to help him."
He grabbed his raincoat, swung it on and dashed through the door, ignoring his surprised parents as they asked him where he was going.
Jim had no idea, what he was doing or why he was doing it or who he was doing it for. He just felt a strange attraction from the man.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Irashaimase
"Irashaimase! Welcome to Wasabi House, I am Sarah and I will be your server."
"About time, we have been waiting for 7 minutes and we have an appointment at a hair salon at 2.30pm." whined a girl with a nasal voice and curly black hair and an expression so irksome, rapists would get an instant de-boner.
Sarah led a quartet of giggly teenaged girls to their table. The stereotypical convent girls who cannot stop talking and pretends to be an innocent and pure girl but is actually a complete bitch and devil incarnate.
But Sarah had to pretend she did not despise them, just like how she had to pretend that she enjoyed her job. "Just smile, Sarah, and don't pour hot green tea down their painfully tight tank tops."
It was hard for Sarah not to do that, as it looked like the breasts of some of those girls was about to pop out of their tank tops like wild animals and blast off like rockets. "Here is the menu and a list of our lunch promotions, take your time to choose and call me when you want to make an order."
"Thaaaaanks. But can I ask if you have anything that's vegetarian on this menu? I guess I'm just not strong enough to block out from my mind the fact that meat is murder." said the prettiest of the four, her caucasian yet asian features and light brown hair hinted that she was Eurasian. She also seemed to be the ring leader of the four girls.
The third one had bleached hair that clashed with her thick black eyebrows. "Oh my gosh Georgina, you're so cool. You have such strong will-power and being a vegetarian makes your figure gorgeous." She was an obvious suck-up who needed this Georgina person to stay popular. If she were in prison, she would be everyone's bitch. Or maybe she's a closeted lesbian whose obsessed with this Georgina.
"Great, a stuck up bitch with a voice more nasal than Miley Cyrus, a total suck-up who is possibly a lesbian, and a self-righteous vegetarian. God must be testing my patience." thought Sarah. "The last one is probably just as much as a bitch as the others are."
Sarah scanned the last one. She seemed more introverted than the rest. She was petite compared to the others, had a sweet smile and a natural charisma around her. She seemed ..... nice? She had a girl-next-door vibe and could totally do better than her current bunch of friends.
"Just let her go Georgina, you know how long you take to choose an item on the menu, and I saw you ate a cheeseburger yesterday, saw drop the whole holier-than-thou-cos-I-don't-eat-dead-animals act. Thank you........Sarah? We'll order later." said the last girl.
"I was right about her! She was nicer than the rest! I might have judged her too quickly about being introverted though. I might actually make it through the day without assaulting them!" thought Sarah. Sarah was a nice person, but she could be a little impatient, short-tempered and judgmental.
Just then then, a caucasian man stood up and asked in a posh British accent Sarah, "Excuse me miss, could you please watch over my belongings and food while I make a quick trip to the loo?"
Although Sarah had dishes to wipe at the back and take the orders of the 4 girls, she had no choice but to oblige his request, after all, he was a customer, and he was very pretty good-looking. Sarah had a penchant for Caucasian men, she finds them more romantic and better-looking than the local asian men. Some of her friends have tried to convince her otherwise, but she is adamant about her opinion.
He had a long face and curly brown hair. His jaw was sharp with a slight chin-dimple, high cheekbones, a sharp, thin nose and grey eyes that seemed to pierce through your soul. His cheeks were pinkish from the spiciness of his extra hot ramen. Which made him even more adorable. His lanky build was complemented with a grey sweater and black jeans that seemed to be custom made. He may be thin, but it was obvious he visits the gym often. The sight of him made Sarah weak in the knees.
"Looks like there is something that can make me like my job." thought Sarah.
"About time, we have been waiting for 7 minutes and we have an appointment at a hair salon at 2.30pm." whined a girl with a nasal voice and curly black hair and an expression so irksome, rapists would get an instant de-boner.
Sarah led a quartet of giggly teenaged girls to their table. The stereotypical convent girls who cannot stop talking and pretends to be an innocent and pure girl but is actually a complete bitch and devil incarnate.
But Sarah had to pretend she did not despise them, just like how she had to pretend that she enjoyed her job. "Just smile, Sarah, and don't pour hot green tea down their painfully tight tank tops."
It was hard for Sarah not to do that, as it looked like the breasts of some of those girls was about to pop out of their tank tops like wild animals and blast off like rockets. "Here is the menu and a list of our lunch promotions, take your time to choose and call me when you want to make an order."
"Thaaaaanks. But can I ask if you have anything that's vegetarian on this menu? I guess I'm just not strong enough to block out from my mind the fact that meat is murder." said the prettiest of the four, her caucasian yet asian features and light brown hair hinted that she was Eurasian. She also seemed to be the ring leader of the four girls.
The third one had bleached hair that clashed with her thick black eyebrows. "Oh my gosh Georgina, you're so cool. You have such strong will-power and being a vegetarian makes your figure gorgeous." She was an obvious suck-up who needed this Georgina person to stay popular. If she were in prison, she would be everyone's bitch. Or maybe she's a closeted lesbian whose obsessed with this Georgina.
"Great, a stuck up bitch with a voice more nasal than Miley Cyrus, a total suck-up who is possibly a lesbian, and a self-righteous vegetarian. God must be testing my patience." thought Sarah. "The last one is probably just as much as a bitch as the others are."
Sarah scanned the last one. She seemed more introverted than the rest. She was petite compared to the others, had a sweet smile and a natural charisma around her. She seemed ..... nice? She had a girl-next-door vibe and could totally do better than her current bunch of friends.
"Just let her go Georgina, you know how long you take to choose an item on the menu, and I saw you ate a cheeseburger yesterday, saw drop the whole holier-than-thou-cos-I-don't-eat-dead-animals act. Thank you........Sarah? We'll order later." said the last girl.
"I was right about her! She was nicer than the rest! I might have judged her too quickly about being introverted though. I might actually make it through the day without assaulting them!" thought Sarah. Sarah was a nice person, but she could be a little impatient, short-tempered and judgmental.
Just then then, a caucasian man stood up and asked in a posh British accent Sarah, "Excuse me miss, could you please watch over my belongings and food while I make a quick trip to the loo?"
Although Sarah had dishes to wipe at the back and take the orders of the 4 girls, she had no choice but to oblige his request, after all, he was a customer, and he was very pretty good-looking. Sarah had a penchant for Caucasian men, she finds them more romantic and better-looking than the local asian men. Some of her friends have tried to convince her otherwise, but she is adamant about her opinion.
He had a long face and curly brown hair. His jaw was sharp with a slight chin-dimple, high cheekbones, a sharp, thin nose and grey eyes that seemed to pierce through your soul. His cheeks were pinkish from the spiciness of his extra hot ramen. Which made him even more adorable. His lanky build was complemented with a grey sweater and black jeans that seemed to be custom made. He may be thin, but it was obvious he visits the gym often. The sight of him made Sarah weak in the knees.
"Looks like there is something that can make me like my job." thought Sarah.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Coffeehouse
*sip*
"I'm so glad I got this job! I've always wanted to be a radio DJ and this job is going to be my first step to becoming one!"
My coffee was searing hot. Instantly-burn-your-tongue-off hot. This he-bitch is yakking off and pushing all my buttons. The only thing keeping me from burning his face off with this coffee is the fact that I'll be sent to jail. But it doesn't hurt to imagine, does it? The scalding sensation running through his skin. His yelp of excruciating pain. Him cringing on the floor, scratching at his face, as if it would take off the pain. His eyes tearing.
You might think that it is unnecessarily violent. But let me explain the circumstances to you.
Imagine you had a chance to get a job, an extremely fun job, with great working hours and great pay. Plus it provides wonderful career opportunities in the future. You dream of it day and night and wish that you get the job.
But you don't.
And now this chap who got your dream job, is just yakking away about how excited he is about the job, completely ignoring your disappointment. You would be as pissed as I was.
I attempted to change the topic of the conversation many times, but this bugger just kept talking about the job.
"...my mother was so proud of me.......", Alex continued to yak.
I needed an excuse to leave soon, or else I would end up on the front page of the newspapers for murder.
Just then, a voice with a light British accent came from behind, "Excuse me, but could you please help take care of my belongings while I make a quick trip to the loo?"
I turned around to see a caucasian man, he had a long face topped with curly brown hair. He had a thin jaw with a slight chin dimple, he had well-defined cheekbones and a sharp nose. Definitely a good-looking man. I replied, "Yes, sure, we would."
He chirped politely, "Oh thank you so much, I won't be long!"
When he stood up, I studied him more carefully. He was wearing a grey sweater with black jeans. He was a lanky man but his clothes fit he just fine. I was jealous. I have the exact same build but my clothes never seem to fit me!
"Oh he has nice shoes." Alex said. And he miraculously stopped talking about the job and changed the subject of the conversation to his shoes. What a relief!
"I have to thank this white guy later, he is a savior, I guess this annoying bloke will live to see another day." I thought to myself. *sip*
"I'm so glad I got this job! I've always wanted to be a radio DJ and this job is going to be my first step to becoming one!"
My coffee was searing hot. Instantly-burn-your-tongue-off hot. This he-bitch is yakking off and pushing all my buttons. The only thing keeping me from burning his face off with this coffee is the fact that I'll be sent to jail. But it doesn't hurt to imagine, does it? The scalding sensation running through his skin. His yelp of excruciating pain. Him cringing on the floor, scratching at his face, as if it would take off the pain. His eyes tearing.
You might think that it is unnecessarily violent. But let me explain the circumstances to you.
Imagine you had a chance to get a job, an extremely fun job, with great working hours and great pay. Plus it provides wonderful career opportunities in the future. You dream of it day and night and wish that you get the job.
But you don't.
And now this chap who got your dream job, is just yakking away about how excited he is about the job, completely ignoring your disappointment. You would be as pissed as I was.
I attempted to change the topic of the conversation many times, but this bugger just kept talking about the job.
"...my mother was so proud of me.......", Alex continued to yak.
I needed an excuse to leave soon, or else I would end up on the front page of the newspapers for murder.
Just then, a voice with a light British accent came from behind, "Excuse me, but could you please help take care of my belongings while I make a quick trip to the loo?"
I turned around to see a caucasian man, he had a long face topped with curly brown hair. He had a thin jaw with a slight chin dimple, he had well-defined cheekbones and a sharp nose. Definitely a good-looking man. I replied, "Yes, sure, we would."
He chirped politely, "Oh thank you so much, I won't be long!"
When he stood up, I studied him more carefully. He was wearing a grey sweater with black jeans. He was a lanky man but his clothes fit he just fine. I was jealous. I have the exact same build but my clothes never seem to fit me!
"Oh he has nice shoes." Alex said. And he miraculously stopped talking about the job and changed the subject of the conversation to his shoes. What a relief!
"I have to thank this white guy later, he is a savior, I guess this annoying bloke will live to see another day." I thought to myself. *sip*
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