Call it stupid or whatever, I think the name is adorable.
I screwed up my F&N task analysis. I was supposed to hand in 10-12 pages, I handed in 6. So I guess I'm gonna get low-medium band for it. Oh well. I just have to do well for the rest of it. I want a B3/B4 for F&N. Don't want to get C's
Oh I had flag day on Saturday. It will be an experience I will never forget.
It will be an experience no one will forget. Because everyone suffered hell because of it.
So for the sake of future generations, I have created a guide for FLAG DAY.
So here it is
KENJI'S AWESOMELY FANTASTIC GUIDE TO FLAG DAY
1. Pick a good spot
Self-explanatory, with a good spot, there will be more people donating and you give away more stickers. Others look like losers and look like some awesome fundraiser. A good spot would be outside a bank(COS THAT'S WHERE ALL THE MONEY IS), outside a 4D outlet(GOT MONEY TO GAMBLE CONFIRM GOT MONEY TO DONATE), at a BUSY traffic light, at a busy market and the town area. However , to be able to pick a good post, you need to------
2. Be early
How are you gonna get a good spot if you're late? ALL the good spots with people that have too many coins will be taken up with students!!!! So wake up early, rush to find a good spot and raise enough money before another irritating bugger from your class comes along to snatch your "potential donaters".
3. Smile, it won't f#cking kill you.
Nothing is more appealing then a bubbly energetic and cheerful flag day person (FDP for short). No one would want to donate to a grumpy, fierce looking FDP. It's a plain turn off. No one in this judgmental little island would donate to you. Unless you are-----
4. DAMN GOOD LOOKING.
The next most appealing thing is good looks, for guys, broad shoulders and chiseled muscles will attract girls and aunties. Girls, a cute smile and a good figure will get you a lot of donations from guys( who are very stingy). Seriously. Looks count. It's in human nature to go for the good looking one!!! Sorry ugly people. You are at a disadvantage. However, it's not that bad. It'll be much easier if you---
5. Be super duper disgustingly thick skinned. To hell with being shy!!!
Do not be afraid to approach people! Tall, short, fat, skinny, ugly, attractive, smoking, not smoking, young, old. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SHY. JUST APPROACH WITH A SMILE. BE CONFIDENT AND PLEASE DO NOT SPEAK WITH A SOFT PANSY VOICE. BE BRAVE!! Even if the guy person is a muscle bound 2 metre tall gangster with a cigarette in one hand. APPROACH HIM!!!! HE MAY HAVE SHIT LOADS OF COINS.
6. Know the organisation you are helping. ESPECIALLY IN YOU MOTHER TONGUE.
It is not enough to know it in English. You have to know how to explain in other languages. A few people I approached us me in mandarin what the organisation is about. I STRUGGLED TO EXPLAIN. (Cos you know I suck at mandarin and shit). Prepare a translation!!! You may never know when some non English speaking donater will come along and ask you what he/she is donating for!!!
7. Rules? Screw rules. Rules are for wimps. They are meant to be broken.
I am not encouraging you to break rules, but there were a lot of people who break rules and ask for donations in buildings. Although they have been strictly instructed not to do so! Some people were asking for donations in shopping malls!
*Note: even if you're outside amk hub, be careful not to step on the tiles outside. The pms-ing security lady will chase you away for standing on their tiles. THEY ARE DAMN IRRITATING!
8. Mind your manners. DUH. DUMBSH!T
Try to avoid addressing adults as "Uncle" or "Auntie". Some people are quite sensitive about being called "uncle" or "auntie". Call them Miss or Mister. Or in Chinese you would want to call them "Xiao Jie" or "xian sheng". No woman wants to be called old. They want to feel young. IN OTHER WORDS, SUCK UP!!!!!! Use your imagination!
9. It's not a competition
Don't be like and develop some maniacal obsession with filling up the entire can. Don't bother about how many people donate to you. What matters is you did your best for charity.
(Omg I sound so cliche and hypocritical, but whatever this is my blog. I can write whatever I want and say it's "Shakespeare")
THIS ENDS MY AWESOME GUIDE TO FLAG DAY. I HOPE YOU LEARNT SOMETHING NEW. EITHER THAT OR YOU JUST WASTED A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE. HAHA NOOB!!!!
OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING!!!!
I have had enough of people making insults at me for the lame jokes I crack. I like to entertain people and if there's one thing I have realised, I can't tell one-liner jokes or crowd pleasing jokes. People just don't laugh with me. However, I realised that people do get a laugh out of me. So therefore I make jokes at the expense of embarrassing myself! So I become the joke! That's my style of humor!!!!
I may not be some witty stand-up comedian, but I enjoy entertaining people. I'm just built that way.
New fact about me: My patience is like the rain in Africa, it's limited.
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