teenage love

If there's one thing about me that everyone knows, it's that i'm very materialistic. I'm very blunt about it. While my friends say money cannot buy love and happiness, i always object and say that money can buy happiness and love. You just need to know where to shop for it

Well, for now that's what i believe, maybe my mind will change. From how i see it currently as a teenager, teenage love is nothing. How many teenage couples actually last until adulthood and get married? How many teenage couples have the maturity to even sustain the relationship? How many guys pay for their girlfriend's costs with their own money and not their parent's money?

Teenage love doesn't last and will never last. How many of you all actually see your relationship going somewhere? How many of of you are even in love? You must probably be offended because I'm just a 16 year old who hasn't had a date before and that I'm just writing this because I'm jealous of couples. To tell you, I probably am a bit jealous.

However, although I haven't been in love before, I have seen people being in love and I''ve had crushes before, so I'm not just writing rubbish.

My parents are divorced, i have two aunts who are divorced and two cousins who are divorce, one of them even have two small kids not older than 7. Imagine growing up without your dad at such a young age. These kids gonna have a rougher time than I DID. From this you can see that I don't really have very good role models on living happily ever after with your true love. My parents seperated when I was 8, before that he was also hardly around, and he often fought with my mum. So i grew up without my dad around, I pretended to be okay with it but occasionally i would think, "how different would it have been if my dad didn't leave?" I felt that something was missing from me. When strangers asked about my japanese heritage or my lack of understanding of it, I just have an uncomfortable and awkward time explaining my family situation to a complete stranger. Sometimes I make up some blatant lie.

The amount of hurt I went through is unquantifiable. This thing called "love" hurt me, and my family, aunts and cousins and the kids I mentioned just now got hurt by "love".

So is it surprising I choose material gains and possesions over "love"? At least my material gains and possesions make me happy and don't hurt me. It fills up what ever is missing inside me emotionaly. It brings me comfort. What's so wrong about that?